Why Discipline is NOT the Answer

One of the most common things that I hear from people in Coaching is that they wish they could be more disciplined.  What I tell people though is that discipline is not the answer.  Discipline can be very beneficial as a short term fix, but it’s not a real long term solution. 

I like to think of discipline as being like a Band-Aid.  A Band-Aid can be good to heal a wound however after a few days, if the wound isn’t healing then it’s a sign of a more severe problem, and you should probably get that looked at.

I tell people that discipline is the same.  Discipline can be great if you need to get up really early at like 5am because you have to go somewhere, however it should only be used as a one off.  If you find yourself constantly needing to be more disciplined than that is a sign of a deeper underlying issue.

Most commonly, that deeper issue is a lack of motivation.  Motivation is the thing which is really going to sustain you in the long term.  The problem with discipline is that it’s very temporary.  If you can discipline yourself to do something once, then as soon as  it’s done, the discipline is gone.  The next time you need to do it, you’ll have to discipline yourself all over again.

When you have motivation though, you have energy which will sustain you through whatever you need to do.  When you are motivated, you don’t need to be disciplined because you are just INSPIRED to do the things you need to do.  When you have motivation, things become effortless and nothing seems like a burden.

Let me give you an example.  Let’s say that you wanted to lose weight and so you decide that you need to discipline yourself to eat right and go to the gym.  What that means is that EVERY TIME you are faced with a decision as to what to eat, you have to discipline yourself to eat the healthy alternative.  When you wake up in the morning and have to decide whether you’re going to stay in bed or get up and go to the gym, you’ll need to discipline yourself to go to the gym EVERY MORNING!

But, if instead you can find your motivation as to why you want to lose weight then that will sustain you.  You’ll no longer have to choose between eating healthy and eating junk food because when you’re motivated it no longer even becomes a question.  You just naturally do those things which are going to lead you towards your goal.  You don’t even have to think about it!  When you’re motivated, you can’t wait to get to the gym to work out because you have your end goal in mind. 

Now don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying that you’ll have the motivation to make sacrifices to achieve your goal.  What I’m saying is that when you’re motivated, they won’t seem like sacrifices at all.  You won’t feel like you’re missing out on anything.  Given the choice, you’ll happily choose healthy food over junk food, you’ll LOVE going to the gym so much that you’ll never want to miss out on that.

Now ask yourself the question.  How can you translate that into your life?  Start by making a list of all the situations where you wish you had more discipline.

Now ask yourself, what specific ACTIONS do you wish you were more disciplined to take?  What RESULTS do you believe you would be able to achieve if you were disciplined enough to take those actions?

Now put yourself in the mind space of already having achieved those results.  Describe for me HOW achieving those results make you feel.

What does it say about you as a person that you have achieved those results?

Now, this is where we get more specific.  What I want you to do now is to create a picture of the sort of person who (a) has already achieved the results that you’re trying to achieve and (b) the type of person who just naturally does the things you wish you were more motivated to do.  This person is not doing these things because they are disciplined.  They’re doing them because that’s the type of person who they are.  Doing these things comes naturally to them, they are at the core of their being.

Now visualise this person, grab a random photo off google to put a face to this person if you have to, imagine the sort of person they are.  What do you think they do in the morning when they wake up?  What type of thoughts do you think they have going through their mind on a daily basis?  What are the characteristics that make this person the type of person who is able to effortlessly achieve the results that you want, without needing to be disciplined BECAUSE they have the motivation to do it?   The motivation and passion that they have for achieving this result is at the core of their being, it runs through every cell in their body.

Now take this picture with you in your mind as you go through your day.  From the time you first wake up in the morning until your head hits the pillow again at night.  Now you may begin by asking yourself “What would this person do in this situation?” But that in itself would require discipline, so while it’s fine to ask that question to begin with, that’s not the end goal.  The end goal that we’re aiming for here is not for you to ask what that person would do, but to really FEEL that you are that person.  YOU have that energy, that passion and that motivation flowing through YOU.

How will YOU act throughout your day now that you have incorporated that energy into you?

Leave a comment below to let me know how you’re doing with incorporating this into your daily routine.