FEEL, Rather Than Invent

When I’m talking to my Coaching Clients, the most important thing that I always stress to them is always the importance of how you FEEL.  Feeling is the thing which is really going to create your reality, regardless of whether you want it or not. 

One of the most important things that you can focus on is the feeling of Gratitude.  However, it’s also one of the most misunderstood feelings.  Many people fall into the trap of trying to “Invent” Gratitude rather than having a genuine FEELING of Gratitude.

The most common form of inventing Gratitude is when you try to make yourself feel Gratitude by comparing yourself to someone else.  The sense that if we can think of an example of people who are worse off than us, it will somehow by default make us feel more grateful for what we have.  However this is really nothing more than artificial Gratitude, because if there are people who are worse off than you, then there are also people who are better off than you.  Also, if you only feel gratitude by comparing yourself to others, does that mean that if circumstances change that you are no longer able to feel Gratitude?

In order to have that genuine sense of TRUE Gratitude in your life, you must learn what it is to truly FEEL Gratitude, not the artificial sense that comes from comparing yourself to others, but the TRUE sense of real Gratitude that you FEEL in every part of your being.  It’s a FEELING, an ENERGY that flows through your body from the moment that you first wake in the morning until you close your eyes at night.

The good news is that you will attract into your life that which you are FEELING about NOT what you are thinking about.  So when you begin to FEEL Gratitude, The Universe will bring you more things for you to be Grateful for.

So how do you do this?  Well the process is actually quite simple.  First of all, make 2 lists.  The first is all the things that are currently in your life that you feel Grateful for.  The second list is all the things that are currently in your life that cause you pain.

Go through all the things that you have in your life to feel Grateful for and for each one, focus on them one by one.  Ask yourself how this particular thing makes you feel.  For example you may start your list with something simple, like saying that you’re Grateful for being able to feel the warmth of the Sun.  Ask yourself HOW that makes you feel.  Close your eyes and imagine what it feels like to have the Suns energy flowing through you.  Describe the feeling you get on a cool day as you step out of the shadows and FEEL that warm glow gently touch your body.  Describe how you FEEL as you start to feel the warmth surging through your body.

Do the same for everything on your list.  What are all the things that you’re Grateful for?  Your family, friends, your health, relationships, the success you have achieved so far?  Whatever it is for you, go through and complete the process for everything on your list.

Then move on to the things that are causing you pain.  Why is it causing you pain?  What would have to happen in order for that thing to no longer be a problem for you.  Choose to put yourself in the space of already having eliminated that out of your life.  How does it feel to no longer have this thing which used to cause you so much pain?  Write down how your life has changed and most importantly, write about how Grateful you FEEL about this.  Trust me, as you REALLY create the FEELINGS of genuine Gratitude for not having these things as part of your reality anymore, you will be amazed and dazzled by how quickly these things which used to cause you pain will dissolve away from your life.

The Universe will ALWAYS deliver you exactly what you are FEELING.  So go ahead, focus on the things that you want to have in your life.  Ask yourself, how you would ideally like to be FEELING on a daily basis.  Put yourself in the space of FEELING that way and then the corresponding reality of that feeling will be unavoidably drawn into your present life.

Observation, Not Explanation

What do you do when things don’t go to plan.  Well if you’re like most people, you’ll probably try to look for an explanation.  This is a normal human thing that we do but it actually may not always be that helpful.

This is a hardwired survival instinct.  When things go wrong we look for patterns, explanations as to why things didn’t work out.   We feel if we can identify that pattern in the future we’ll be able to avoid those things from happening again.

Whilst it is good to learn from your mistakes, if you want to learn from your mistakes you must first establish whether or not what you’re doing really is a mistake to begin with!  It has been said that a cat that sits on a hot stove once will never sit on a hot stove again, but it will never sit on a cold stove again either.  We must be sure that we’re learning the right lessons.

Trust me when I say that I speak from experience.  I used to be the worst offender of trying to figure out a reason why things happen.  Whether it be a failure in business, the end of a valued friendship or the loss of a job.  I’m a very logical person, and I used to ALWAYS fall into the trap of thinking that I could figure out why things weren’t working and if I could figure out WHY then I would be able to fix it.

What I’ve learned though is that sometimes things just happen, either for no apparent reason or sometimes people will never actually tell you the reason.  But as humans, our hardwired survival instinct subconsciously insists on finding one.  The trap with this is that in our search for the “reason” why things don’t work we may miss-identify a completely random occurrence as being the “reason”.  So we’ll base our future actions on things that were never an issue to begin with.

What I’ve learned is that there is power in just being able to LET GO!  If you can identify a mistake, then learn from it.  But if you can’t find a reason why things are, don’t try to invent one!  Just let go and move on.

In order to improve our situation in life, we must first improve our observational skills.  So many people are held prisoner to the ideas that they have as to why things don’t work whilst being oblivious to the very things that are going on around them.   When things don’t work out, it doesn’t necessarily mean that you’re doing anything wrong.  So if you’re looking to find what you did wrong, when in reality you did nothing wrong, you’re going to be looking for a very long time and ultimately never find what you’re looking for.  Or even worse, you’ll mistakenly identify the wrong reason and spend your life trying to avoid something that was never a problem in the first place.

What if instead, you did this.  If you can’t find a problem, just accept the fact that there may well not even be a problem.  So instead of trying to find what went wrong, focus instead on all the things that went RIGHT! 

Think about the experiences that you’ve had in life where things haven’t quite worked out.  Ask yourself the question, how did you react?  Were there obvious lessons that you could learn or did you fall into the trap of “finding” things that weren’t there just so you could tell yourself that you figured out what went wrong.

Now I want you to ask yourself this question.  How might things have been different if you had of just assumed (unless you have proof positive that there was a mistake that you can learn from) that YOU had in fact done nothing wrong and instead of giving up or avoiding this situation, what if you had of just powered on.

Now assuming that you’ve done nothing wrong, make a list of all the things that you in fact did RIGHT!  All the ways in which YOU excelled, the ways that YOU were your highest self.

What was it about YOU that made things work as well as they did for as long as they did?

What is it about YOU that people really appreciate?

What unique skills and abilities do YOU possess that enable YOU to be able to succeed in a way that no one else could?

Write your answers in the comments below

Attract a Cup of Coffee!

One of the things that I teach people in Coaching is a process known as Quantum Resonance, whereby people learn to adjust the frequency of their thoughts to align with the frequency of something that they want to attract.

OK, so the actual concepts that I teach in Coaching are hard to capture in just 1 Blog Post, but in essence here’s how it works…

Everything in the Universe is made up of Atoms.  The structure and frequency of how those atoms are arranged will determine the form that they take.  For example, a Tuna Sandwich and a Lamborghini are both just nothing more than a bunch of atoms, arranged in a certain order and emitting a certain frequency.  There is no such thing as a Lamborghini atom or a Tuna Sandwich atom, they’re all the same.  If the atoms in a Lamborghini suddenly arranged themselves in the same way and same frequency as a Tuna Sandwich, the Lamborghini would instantly become a Tuna Sandwich!

They say that Like attracts Like, so if you want to attract something (like a Lamborghini for example) into your life then all you need to do is to set the vibrational frequency of your thoughts to the same vibrational frequency as a Lamborghini and that will be unavoidably attracted to you and you will definitely bring that into your reality.

But for most people, creating that level of thought frequency might be a bit much to start off with!  So I tell people to start with something small like a cup of coffee.

It’s something that is simple, but the ramifications of that can be awesome.  A single cup of coffee may seem irrelevant but trust me, the very first time when that cup of coffee manifests its way into your life, you’ll get that knot in your stomach.  You’ll realise that you, through nothing more than thought, have bought something into your reality that otherwise wouldn’t have shown up there.

But trust me on this, the very next emotion you’ll feel is doubt.  Once you begin to comprehend what has just happened, your conscious mind will start to question, did this really just happen or was it just coincidence?  You’ll ponder this, and as you do your conscious mind will start to think of all the possible ways that this could be just a coincidence.

So to truly believe, you have to repeat the experiment.  This time, try something slightly harder to manifest.  Try something even more outside your realm of reality.  It doesn’t need to be a massive thing, it can be something really simple, just something that you know would never normally come into your day to day life.  That way when it does you will know that it can’t possibly be explained by coincidence, and the only possible explanation is that you have manifested it into your reality.

Once you have that thing show up, that’s when you’ll really get a bigger knot in your stomach and your hairs will stand up as you get that spooky feeling and instantly you’ll just KNOW!

Once you’ve done that, you can just keep repeating the process, gradually increasing the difficulty each time.

Start with a simple coffee, and leave a comment below to let me know what you’re going to move on to after you’ve attracted the coffee.  And then most importantly, leave another follow up note to let me know once you’ve achieved it.