New Year, New ME !

Previously, we spoke about Goal Setting for the New Year.  We discussed the importance of firstly feeling gratitude for all that you’ve accomplished last year before tackling this year, as well as how to generate the feeling that you need in order to create truly empowering Goals.

Today, I want to talk about something else which is really important which can make or break your Goals.  That is your sense of Identity.  Having the right sense of Identity can help to really power your transition into the awesome new person that you can become.  However, the wrong sense of Identity can keep you stuck in the past in an ongoing vicious circle.

What I mean by Identity is really how you see yourself.  Who you really believe you are at your core.  And as Tony Robbins says, Identity is something that you will do anything to be consistent with!  If you start to see yourself as being a “new person” then your sense of Identity will compel you to be consistent with that belief.  If, however, you see yourself as still being the person that you were last year, then despite your best intentions, your sense of Identity will keep you locked in to that old pattern of behaviour because your subconscious won’t allow you to be inconsistent with your belief.

Let me give you a practical example of how this works in reality.  I’ll use myself as an example.  Years ago, I used to do what most people do at New Years and set a Goal to lose weight and be healthier.  So I would set the Goal and I’d be so keen to follow through that I would tell all my work colleagues that from now on, I’m going to eat healthy at lunch, I’m going to go to the gym and so forth. 

Then what happened is that I started out pretty well for the first few days, then by around the second week, I’d have a moment of weakness and I’d end up having something like KFC for lunch.  Instantly, everyone around would be nagging me with things like, oh what happened to your new diet?  This is a critical moment, as to how you respond mentally to this.  To start with, I did what most people do and buckled.  I started to feel embarrassed that I’d made this “Declaration” that I’m going to be healthy and now I’m letting myself down by having junk food.

As Tony Robbins says, it’s just a normal human reaction that we want to be consistent with our sense of Identity.  Once people started picking up on the fact that I wasn’t being consistent with what I had said I was going to do, I started to FEEL like I was kind of a bit of a fraud by not following through on my commitments.  In essence, I felt inconsistent with my Identity.

Because we as people don’t want to be inconsistent with our Identity, I instantly started to make up excuses by saying things like, oh well I wasn’t really going to be healthy, or I’d make a joke out of it by saying something like, oh yeah well I’m going to start my new diet “for real” next week.

This created within me, the Identity that I was the sort of person who wasn’t able to commit to a diet.  I was then subconsciously compelled to stay true to that Identity.  But what took me a long time to discover is that it’s just as easy to cultivate a positive sense of Identity which actually empowered me to stay true to my Goals.

All it takes is to constantly re-inforce the positive things that you do.  One thing that I’m always telling my clients is that it’s vitally important to give yourself credit for doing things “approximately right”.  So when I would have a “perfect” day, when I ate right, drank plenty of water and exercised, I would give myself credit for that.  Every time I gave myself credit for doing the right thing, I was programming my subconscious mind that this is now my Identity.  This is who I am.  I am the sort of person who is fit and healthy.  I programmed myself that I was a fit and healthy person, that became my Identity, and in turn, my subconscious mind would keep me consistent with that identity.

At times when I had a blow out and did the wrong thing, I would once again grab onto the positives.  When you’re starting out on a new Goal such as fitness for example, it’s quite common that you’re not going to get everything 100% right all the time.  But you can get things “approximately right” most of the time.  Being my old self, I would beat myself up about the things I did wrong instead of focusing on all the things I did right.

Once I learned to change this, everything changed for me.  I would have a day where I had an iced doughnut for morning tea and KFC for lunch!  But you know what, I also achieved my fitness Goals for the day!  So at the end of the day, I completely put all the stuff I ate out of my mind and instead I would recall the time I spent walking and exercising.  I closed my eyes and visualised myself actually physically walking and I thought, you know what, I’m pretty healthy.  As I did this, it was engraving into my subconscious a new Identity.  I am a fit and healthy person!

Vice-versa, there were times when I didn’t do much physical exercise, but I ate right.  Again I would forget about the inactivity and focus on what I was eating.  And my subconscious mind would say to me, hey Neill that was a really healthy meal.  You’re a really fit and healthy person.   As I continued to do this, my Identity REALLY DID change!

And that’s just an example of making a change to be fit and healthy.  You can use this technique on any Goal that you have.  Before you can achieve the Goal, you have to REALLY see yourself as BEING the sort of person who would not only achieve that Goal, but you have to really see yourself as being the sort of person who has ALREADY achieved this Goal.

So if you want to be fit and healthy, then see yourself as being a person who is ALREADY fit and healthy.  If you want to be a millionaire, see yourself as ALREADY having a million dollars.  Engrave that FEELING of how it feels to be that sort of person into your subconscious mind.  That will in turn become your Identity.  Whatever you see as being your Identity at your core, will unavoidably show up as your REALITY!

So work out what is your most important Goal for this year, then work out what would your Identity be if you were the sort of person who had already achieved this Goal.  Make that Identity your own and you WILL have that Goal show up as your reality.  Let me know in the comments below what Identity YOU will choose to make your own.

Also, take advantage of my Goal Setting For Goal Getting Program.  Mention this Blog Post to receive a 50% discount on the normal rate.  Check out the website at www.dreamfulfilmentlab.com for more information.

Setting Yourself Up For An Amazing 2016.

At the end of last year we discussed the importance of FEELING gratitude for the year that has been before you start thinking about the Goals for this year.  And that is so true because if you think that this will be the year when you accomplish all the things that you failed to accomplish last year then you’re really setting yourself up for failure.

The reason I say that is because if you’re in the mindset of thinking that there were things you didn’t accomplish last year then you’re in the mindset of “Lack” because you’re thinking about all the things you didn’t do.  If, however, you approach the New Year with the feeling of gratitude for all that you DID accomplish last year, then you’ll be cultivating the feeling of gratitude.  The FEELINGS that you’ll be sending out into the Universe will be those of ACCOMPLISHMENT and GRATITUDE for all that you achieved.  And the Universe will respond by bringing you more of the experience of ACCOMPLISHMENT and more things for you to be GRATEFUL for, because that’s the signal that you’re sending out into The Universe.

Once you have the right mindset, then we can start to look at some Goal Setting for the New Year.  Let me just first of all say that most of what you’ve learned about Goal Setting in the past will probably be wrong and in most cases has been counterproductive to you achieving your Goals.  Most people learn a simple Goal Setting strategy of “SMART” Goals.   Each letter in “SMART” will mean something slightly different depending on who you listen to, but basically a typical example of what you may have been taught will look something like this.

Specific

Measurable

Achievable

Realistic

Timely.

Now let me just say first of all that there can be instances where this is a really good formula for success.  But it tends to only work with very limited, short term Goals.  For example, at the end of 2015 I decided to make some changes to my Business.  Firstly, I changed Banks, and secondly I changed to a whole new Platform where I conduct my Coaching Business Online.

Using a “SMART” Goal template for this made sense.   I had some very specific steps that needed to be done.  For example, I had to ensure my new Bank was able to provide Payment facilities so my Clients could pay me, I had to get that all set up, make sure it was working.  I had to set up my new Coaching Platform, test that, make sure it all works.  Then I had to migrate all of my existing customers to the new Platform.  These were just some of the tasks that I had to complete!

So, there were a lot of VERY specific tasks that I had to accomplish in a really short time frame, they were all measurable and I could track my progress for each one to make sure I was on track.  I had to ensure that both the tasks I needed to complete, and the time frame that I set myself, were both realistic and achievable.

Now that works really well for simple tasks that have a very short time frame.  However what I have found, and you may have also found this yourself, is that this process seems much less effective when you’re looking at longer term Goals such as your Goal for 2016, or more over, your Goals for your life!

Someone once said, when you have a Goal, the BEST thing that can happen is the Goal.  When you have a “SMART” Goal, the BEST POSSIBLE outcome is for you to achieve the Goal.  You limit yourself to the possibility that something BETTER than that can happen.

If you set a Goal that you wanted a new home or a new car, you close yourself off to the possibility that you could have a BETTER home or a BETTER car.  If you set a Goal to have a certain amount of money show up in your Bank account, you cut yourself off from the possibility of having MORE than that showing up.

Another problem with the traditional “SMART” Goal is that placing a time limit on your Goal can seem inspiring at the time, but can actually become problematical.  One reason is, as we’ve discussed, when you put a time frame on your Goal, you limit yourself to the possibility that you could actually achieve it sooner.  But the bigger problem is not that you could have achieved it sooner, but rather it typically takes most people LONGER to achieve their Goals then they realise. 

Even though people have the best of intentions to set a time frame to their Goal which they believe to be realistic and achievable, the natural human tendency is to overestimate what you’re able to achieve.  It’s been said that people UNDERESTIMATE what they can do in a day, but OVERESTIMATE what they can achieve in several days.  Just think about it, when a long weekend comes around people have all these plans of everything that they’re going to accomplish over the long weekend.  Then the long weekend comes and what happens?  Most people would be lucky to achieve HALF of what they set out to accomplish.

The point here is that the longer the time frame to achieve your Goal, the harder it is to accurately estimate how long it’s going to take.  Once you get to the point of not being able to accurately estimate how long something is going to take, the natural human tendency is to UNDERESTIMATE how long a Goal will take. 

This becomes a problem when you’re tracking your Goal and you start to realise that you’re not on track.  Say you have a Goal that you think you can achieve in 6 months.  In reality, it’s actually going to take you a minimum of AT LEAST 9 months to do.  So you get about 3 months in and suddenly realise you’re way off track and start to panic.  Then, if you’re like most people, you’ll do 1 of 2 things.  Either you’ll get into a total panic and start rushing to try and get stuff done.  You’ll start compromising on the quality that you need to produce just to “get it done”.  In the end you’ll still fall short AND what you’ll do will be absolutely crap quality because you’re trying to rush to get it done.

The other alternative would be that you’ll feel totally defeated because you realise that you’re not going to achieve your Goal so you’ll just give up completely.  Instead of just adjusting your time frame, you’ll admit to yourself that your Goals were unrealistic and say to yourself, well there’s no way I’m going to achieve my Goal so I may as well just quit now.  So you’ll quit all together and not try to achieve anything else until the next time you set a Goal, which will be unrealistic AGAIN, and the whole process starts all over again.

Personally, I NEVER put a time frame on any Goal that I set that’s going to take any more than about 2 weeks to achieve.  As I said, “SMART” Goals can be great when you’ve got a simple little Goal that you need to do in about a week or so.  Any longer than that, you’re going to start feeling that pressure which is counterproductive to the achievement of the Goal.  I also make a point of not setting a Goal that is too specific because that limits your potential.

The important thing that I always teach my Clients about Goal Setting is to not get too bogged down with specifics or time.  For example, when you start focusing on a specific Goal such as a new car, you cut yourself off from the possibility of actually achieving a BETTER car.   When you put a time frame on it, you cut off the possibility of achieving it sooner.  Plus you’ll start to feel pressure if you feel as though you’re falling behind on your Goal.

Instead, let’s say that you wanted a new car.  Even if you know exactly what sort of car you want, what you want to do is to focus on the FEELING that you will have when you get that car.

The Universe likes speed.  If you ask The Universe to deliver you a new car, The Universe will always find the quickest way of bringing that car into your reality.  A time frame therefore becomes irrelevant because The Universe will ALWAYS be delivering it to you as quickly as possible.

The more you focus on the FEELING of already having acquired the car, already owning it, driving around in it, the stronger the frequency will be that you’re sending out into The Universe which is drawing the parallel back to you.

Another couple of tricks that I teach people is to imagine doing something very “unexciting” in your new car.  For example, if you wanted a new convertible, most people would be visualising themselves driving around on a beautiful sunny day.  Whilst visualisation is important and this is definitely a good start, you may without realising it start to think of this reality as being more of a fantasy rather than a reality.  If you imagine doing something really boring like driving down to the shops in pouring rain to buy the milk, it will make it seem more real to you.

Another tip I give people is that it often helps to imagine having already had that car in your past, rather than imagining having it in the future.  The reason is that when you remember something that has already happened, you already know that this is FACT.  You have absolute certainty about that.  When you associate your new car with that certainty, you will also start to sub-consciously associate that same certainty with your new car!

That certainty will be fused with the FEELINGS that you are sending out into The Universe.  The Universe then knows that it needs to produce a reality for you in which you feel the feelings that you’ve been sending out.  The more feeling and certainty you attach to this, the more powerfully it will be attracted to you.  We explore this in more detail in my Goal Setting For Goal Getting Program that I offer.  Head on over to the website at www.dreamfulfilmentlab.com for more information on how we can work together to achieve YOUR Goals for 2016 and beyond !